I really need this to be a success. I have Shadowlane and then the SSC in October. Then it looks like that will be it for the foreseeable future since my finances just aren't up to it. How depressing. Having my car stolen and having to replace it just really killed my finances and budgeting. It's depressing to think that these may be my last spankings in quite a while, so hopefully these parties are a success for me.
I finally managed to make the Shadowlane organized chat night last night. I keep forgetting about it until it is over, although one night I really tried to go and couldn't nerve myself up to do it. I'm such a baby, chat freaks me out. It's the whole social anxiety thing. I finally forced myself into the room by telling myself that going into chat was easier than walking into the Shadowlane vendor fair or dinner by myself and if couldn't manage to make it into chat I was in big trouble! I was pretty quiet for most of it until the room started to thin out and then I got a bit chattier. I met/chatted with some nice people and got offers to meet up and introduce me to people which is awesome. What nice sweet people. I'm not sure why I'm always surprised when people are nice to me.
I'm still trying to figure out what to do regarding a cell phone in Vegas. I switched it over to a prepaid plan when my contract ran out because it was way more cost effective for me (by a long shot and I don't have money to spare at the moment), but by doing so I have a phone that will not work in the US. Since the vast majority of meeting up and knowing where to go seems to be done via text messaging, I'm gonna be at a bad disadvantage I think. Still trying to come up with something to get around that since I don't need more disadvantages!
Other things I'm nervous about:
- General social anxiety
- Walking into the party by myself
- No one wanting to talk to me
- Looking like a moron
- No one wanting to spank me
- Not being a fun enough spankee
- Making an idiot of myself
- Not wanting to be bare butted in front of any audience (I just really don't have any exhibitionistic tendencies)
- My wardrobe (I can't afford or justify to buy special clothes for the party)
- Being on a tight budget and not having the freedom to just do what I want and missing out on opportunities because I can't afford to participate
- I'm worried about the heat and getting burned
- I'm worried about the smoke (the only time I've been to Vegas I ended up with bronchitis from all the cigarette smoke)
4 comments:
OK, hon -- I can't speak to ALL your fears, but I can address some of them. First, let me assure you that these nerves and worries are perfectly normal and we all have them, or have had them.
1. "No one wanting to spank me." Trust me on this one; you're a female and you have a pulse. People will want to spank you. Single women are in demand at these parties.
2. "I'm worried about the heat and getting burned."
The party is indoors. The fun is indoors. Your hotel room is indoors. Stay the hell out of the heat. I do.
3. "Not wanting to be bare butted in front of any audience."
Then don't. No problem whatsoever. Lots of women choose to keep their panties up. Some even wear thongs underneath panties so there's something to pull down, but they still end up with a little coverage. Your comfort level is key here.
4. "My wardrobe."
The economy stinks. A lot of people can't afford to buy new outfits for these events. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and you'll look fine. Shadow Lane isn't an S&M (Standing and Modeling) party.
5. "Looking like a moron"; "Making an idiot of myself"
I know you won't believe me, but it's true: Almost everyone has these fears. And guess what? They're so busy worrying about how they're coming off, they're not going to be putting you under a microscope. And a little vulnerability is a good thing -- it makes you human like the rest of us.
6. "No one wanting to talk to me." I don't even know you, but I know that's not true, 'cause I know two of your friends who are going! So start with them, and build on.
7. "Being on a tight budget and not having the freedom to just do what I want and missing out on opportunities because I can't afford to participate."
Sweetie, the party IS the event. You've already paid for that. All this ancillary stuff -- gambling, going to shows on the Strip, etc., is NOT necessary for a good experience. Honest.
I hope this helps, even a little. And kudos re. going into the chat room.
I have no idea why that damn comment posted three times; my apologies.
Thanks Erica. I'm sure the nerves will only get worse! I know i have this vision of what Shadowlane is going to be like in my head and it's probably really far from the truth. My image of every other spanking gathering has been way off, yet I still imagine horrors!
AS for the triple posts...poof...gone...no harm, no foul.
You'll do fine, igster! You always do! :) And hey, spare a few quarters in the slots - maybe you'll get lucky!!
have fun! I do know there are a few people you know who are going.
sarah
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